Do Black Men Really Prefer to Date White Women

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Hey bloggers! I ran across this letter in Sister 2 Sister Magazine a while back and wanted to share with you guys. Apparently, a white woman sends in a letter on her opinion as to why black men preferred to date white women. The response to her letter was definitely more than what she asked for!
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Dear Jamie: I’m sorry but I would like to challenge some of your Black male readers. I am a White female who is engaged to a Black male-good-looking, educated and loving. I just don’t understand a lot of Black female’s attitudes about our relationship. My man decided he wanted me because the pickings amongst Black women were slim to none. As he said they were either too fat, too loud, too mean, too argumentative, too needy, too materialistic or carrying too much excess baggage. Before I became engaged, whenever I went out I was constantly approached by Black men, willing to wine and dine me and give me the world. If Black women are so up in arms about us being with their men, why don’t they look at themselves and make some changes. I am tired of the dirty looks I get and snide remarks when we’re out in public. I would like to hear from some Black men about why we are so appealing and coveted by them. Bryant Gumbel just left his wife of 26 years for one of us Charles Barkley, Scottie Pippen, the model Tyson Beckford, Montell Williams, Quincy Jones, James Earl Jones, Harry Belafonte, Sydney Poitier, Kofi Anan, Cuba Gooding Jr., Don Cornelius, Berry Gordy, Billy Blanks, Larry Fishburne, Wesley Snipes… I could go on and on. But, right now, I’m a little angry and that is why I wrote this so hurriedly. Don’t be mad with us White women because so many of your men want us. Get your acts together and learn from us and we may lead you to treat your men better. If I’m wrong, Black men, let me know.
Disgusted White Girl, Somewhere in VA

Dear Jamie: I would like to respond to the letter written by A Disgusted White Girl. Let me start by saying that I am a 28-year old black man. I graduated from one of the most prestigious universities in Atlanta, Georgia with a Bachelor of Arts Degree in Business Management. I have a good job at a major corporation and have recently purchased a house. So, I consider myself to be among the ranks of successful black men. I will not use my precious time to slander white people. I just want to set the record straight of why black men date white women. Back in the day, one of the biggest reasons why black men dated white women was because they were considered easy. The black girls in my neighborhood were raised in the church. They were very strict about when they lost their virginity and who they lost it to. Because of our impatience to wait, brothers would look for someone who would give it up easy without too much hassle. So, they turned to the white girls. Nowadays, in my opinion, a lot of brothers date white women because they are docile and easy to control. A lot of black men, because of insecurities, fears, and overall weaknesses, have become intimidated by the strength of our black women. We are afraid that our woman will be more successful than us, make more money than us, drive nicer cars and own bigger houses.

Because of this fear, many black men look for a more docile woman. Someone we can control. I have talked to numerous black men and they continuously comment on how easy it is to control and walk over their white women. I just want to set the record straight. I want A Disgusted White Girl to know that not all successful black men date white women. Brothers like Ahmad Rashad, Denzel Washington, Michael Jordan, Morris Chestnut, Will Smith, Blair Underwood, Kenneth “Babyface” Edmonds, Samuel L. Jackson, and Chris Rock all married strong black women And, to flip the script, there are numerous white men, in and out of the spot light, who openly or secretly desire black women over white women. Ted Danson, Robert DeNiro, and David Bowie to name a few. I just don’t want a disgusted white girl to be misinformed Stop thinking that because you are white that you are some type of goddess. Remember, when black Egyptian Queens like Hatsepshut and Nitorcris were ruling Dynasties and armies of men in Egypt, you were over in the caves of Europe eating raw meat and beating each other over the head with clubs.

Read your history! It was the black woman that taught you how to cook and season your food. It was the black woman that taught you how to raise your children. It was black women who were breast feeding and raising your babies during slavery. It is the black woman that had to endure watching their fathers, husbands, and children beaten, killed, and thrown in jail. Black women were born with two strikes against them: being black and being a woman. And, through all this, Still They Rise! It is because of the black women’s strength, elegance, power, love and beauty that I could never date anyone except my black Queen. It is not just the outer beauty that captivates and draws me to them. It is not the fact that they come in all shapes, sizes, colors and shades that I love them. Their inner beauty is what I find most appealing about black women. Their strong spirit, loving and nurturing souls, their integrity, their ability to overcome great obstacles, their willingness to stand for what they believe in, and their determination to succeed and reach their highest potential while enduring great pain and suffering is why I have fallen in love with black women. I honestly believe that your anger is geared more toward jealousy and envy more so than snotty looks. If this were not so, then why do you continuously go to tanning salons to darken your skin? If you are so proud to be white, then why don’t you just be happy with your pale skin? Why do you continue to inject your lips, hips, and breasts with unnatural and dangerous substances so you can look fuller and more voluptuous? I think that your anger is really a result of you wanting to have what the black woman has.

BOTTOM LINE: If I were looking for a docile woman, someone I can walk over and control, I would give you a call. But, unfortunately, I am looking for a Virtuous Woman. Someone that can be a good wife and mother to my children. Someone who can be my best friend and understands my struggles. I am looking for a soul mate. I am looking for a sister and; unfortunately, you do not and CANNOT fit the bill. No offense taken, none given.

Signed, Black Royalty

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Wow! I’m sure she wasn’t expecting that! What do you guys think about her letter? Did she deserve that kind of response? Any comments on the black man’s response? How do you guys feel about interracial love? Send in your commments! Til next time 🙂

Peace & Love ♥
That Virgo Chick

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Why Do Women Hate On Each Other?

I’ve asked this question countless times and I have yet to find an answer to it. Here’s a scenario: You see a woman walking down the street. Her outfit is on point, she’s got her hair done, her nails are freshly manicured, and her walk is mean. This woman exhudes confidence and sex appeal. She knows she looks good and it shows in her strut. You know it too, but the first thing that comes out your mouth is, “(scoff) Oh she thinks she’s cute huh?” But why though? Because she happens to look better than you on this particular day? Or is it because her walk demands the attention of every single person she passes? Perhaps it’s because every man she walks past is showing her the type of attention you so DESPERATELY yearn for?

Insecurity is one hell of a thing, I tell you. It’s such an ugly characteristic to possess and it’s extremely easy to pick you insecure girls out in a line-up. It shows in the way you carry your self. It shows in the way you talk about yourself and in the way you speak to and about other people. What happened to “sisterhood”? If you introduce two men to each other, they’ll give each other a dap (or handshake), and are able to have a conversation with each other right off the bat, like they’ve known each other for years! Now if you introduce two women to each other, yeah they’ll smile and say hi, but the moment they lay eyes on each other, they’re already comparing and judging each other like they’re arch enemies! But they just met each other!! Wth! I’m not trying to compare women and men, but I see these things everyday!

The point that I’m trying to make is we as women need to learn to UPLIFT and EMPOWER one another. All this negativity swirling around is pointless and it’s destroying us little by little. You see a woman perfect eye makeup? Tell her! Hell, ask her what brand of eyeliner she uses! (Though some of you withhold info, which I don’t get. -_- She’s not asking you for the secret ingredient in Busch’s Baked Beans. She just wants to know where your ass got your damn eyeliner from! …But that’s another blog.) Anywho, there’s nothing wrong with complementing another woman. Not only will it make her feel good, but it will make you feel good as well. No, I’m serious. Try it. A little positivity goes a long way.

Peace & Love ♥
-That Virgo Chick

Sex and Friendship

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Many people believe if you sleep with a friend, the friendship is ruined. I don’t think that is necessarily true, and I’m speaking from experience. Here’s my story…

I was friends with a guy for about a year before we ever got physical with each other. We were extremely close and had a lot of great memories together. One aftetnoon, I went over to his place to hang out. This was nothing new, as we hung out at each other’s houses quite often. That day, we watched tv, we played music, we talked, we cracked jokes.. the usual stuff. Long story short, one thing led to another and somehow we started kissing. And then the kissing turned into sex. (Yes it was good, but that’s besides the point! Lol) We spoke about it, and agreed that it wouldn’t happen again. It never did, and til this day, we are still friends.

Now, I know what you guys are thinking. You’re thinking to yourselves “Wasn’t it awkward afterward?” I can admit that it was a bit awkward the next fews days after. I was thinking to myself, how could I even look at him again? Or, what if everytime he sees me, he’s picturing my naked body? I definitely felt a bit of paranoia, but all of that quickly went away after we talked about it.

The point that I’m trying to make is as adults, we all make mistakes. We all make stupid decisions. Your friendship can only end, if you say it’s over and problems will only be resolved if there is action so don’t be afraid to talk things through!

Peace & Love,

-That Virgo Chick ♥